Here Comes Goodbye
by Flypaperfornightmares7
Summary: Killian deals with the aftermath of Emma becoming the dark one. Based on Rascal Flats Here Comes Goodbye.


**So, here's a new story of Killian and how he's dealing with Emma being gone. It's based on Rascal Flatts' Here Comes Goodbye. I hope you like it. Comment what you think. Oh, and I'll apologize now for the formatting if it looks weird. Something went wrong while I was writing this and it wouldn't fix no matter what I tried, so, I just went with it. Whatever, please enjoy!**

 _I can hear the truck tires coming up the gravel rode_

 _And it's not like her to drive that slow_  
 _Nothings on the radio_

 _Footsteps on the front porch_

 _I hear my doorbell_

 _She usually comes right in_

 _Now I can tell_

Every sound reminded him of Emma. Everything reminded him of her. His thoughts were constantly on her. Her face. Her laugh. Her eyes. Her smile. Her passion.

There were many times that he had thought that he was crazy due to his thinkings of her. Moments when he heard footsteps aboard the Jolly Rodger and convinced himself that it was her, and not her boy coming to console him. There were times when he was walking down the streets of Storybrooke and was sure he saw her yellow car drive by.

Walking into Grannies hurt. Physically hurt. The memories of being there with Emma hit him like a brick. The sheriff's station mocked him and the loft teased. There was no where he could go to escape thinking of her. Escape missing her.

But he didn't want to forget. The mockery and pain pushed him. Made him work harder to find a cure to the insanity he felt with. And the only cure was rescuing his Swan.

 _Here comes goodbye_  
 _Here comes the last time_  
 _Here comes the start of every sleepless night_  
 _The first of every tear I'm gonna cry_

Saying that he cried himself to sleep the night Emma became the dark one would be an understatement. He wept-sobbed over the loss of Emma. He was scared for her, for her safety. His body wracked with sobs as he did nothing to stop his tears. It was the first time in a long time that he allowed himself to cry.

He missed her terribly. Killian made himself replay the good memories in his head, but he kept returning to that final moment. It played in slow motion in his mind. She pushed his away and let the darkness consume her. She screamed in pain, the agony of it all killing both of them. Then she was gone, and the only thing she left behind was the dagger, which cruelly read her name

Killian was exhausted, but couldn't sleep. How could he rest when Emma was out there somewhere, hurting and scared, being overtaken by darkness and evil? He wouldn't have a restful night again until he knew Emma was safe and sleeping in her bed across town.

 _Here comes the pain_

 _Here comes me wishing things had never changed_

 _And she was right here in my arms tonight_

 _Here comes goodbye_

Killian wasn't one for superstition. He didn't believe in luck or wishes. He believed in hard work and fate. Never had he stood on the deck of the Jolly Roger and wished upon a star, hoping and praying his wish would come true.

But then again, his love had never turned into the dark one.

So here he stood, in the dark of the night, on the main deck of the Jolly. He had seen these stars thousands of times. Pirates knew the night sky like the back of their hand, or in his case, hook. He knew every constellation and its origin and could use the night sky as a map to navigate his way home.

But tonight he gazed at only one star. The brightest star in the sky that night. And though he felt foolish, he said the little rhyme he had heard David and Mary Margaret say to a young Neal while putting him to bed.

"Star light, Star bright. First star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might have this wish I wish tonight." He closed his eyes and set his thoughts on Emma." I wish for Emma's safety and her happiness. Bring her home to me."

 _I can hear her say I love you like it was yesterday_

 _And I can see it written on her face that she had never felt this way_

Her final words replayed in his mind every day for the weeks after her disappearance. Her three little words that she had been so afraid to say to him. Saying it would knock down another set of her walls and make her more vulnerable to him.

She had almost said it earlier, when they first came back to Storybrooke, but fear got in the way. Killian understood, but would be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed. He loved this woman so much, but knew she needed to say it when she was ready, not because he had said to her and she responded in the heat of the moment. That wouldn't be growth for her. She needed to move past her fear and be willing to love someone.

Killian's only wish after her confessing her love to him was to do the same back to her. It killed him inside that he had not told her that he loved her before she left him, but he knew the time wasn't right. Now, the urge to tell her how much he truly love her motivated him to work even harder at finding her. It moved him through the earlier mornings and eased him though the late nights.

And he found that every night, when he would try to sleep, but instead replayed that final moment in his head, the last words be would say before giving into his exhaustion would be, "I love you too, Emma."

 _One day I thought I'd see her daddy by her side_

 _And violins would play here comes the bride_

Killian' s only relief when he woke up at night from his nightmares was imagining what life would be like when Emma returned. These made up scenarios usually gave him enough of a break from the night terrors to get a few hours of sleep.

His dreams varied from night to night. Sometimes he thought of potential dates they would go on-picnics on the deck on the Jolly and walks on the beach. He imagined them watching movies together or cooking dinner and then enjoying it with Henry. He had dreamt of teaching her to sail and taking her on trips on the boat.

One scenario slipped into his brain in the early hours of the morning and never left. He thought of marrying her. He had entertained the idea of marrying Emma before, but had never thought about a wedding with her. He had heard of all the traditions of a wedding and couldn't help think what it would be like to experience them with Emma.

He imagined her in a long,flowy white dress, her long beautiful hair down on her knew she would want a small wedding and so would he. Only their closest friends and family would be there. Henry would be smiling ear to ear. Mary Margaret would be ecstatic. David would be trying to think of ways to kill him without Emma knowing.

And after he let his mind wander to the thought of marriage, the ideas ofaving a family with Emma flowed into his mind. He wouldn't mind starting a family with Swan-in fact, he'd love it. He could see a little girl, with her mother's eyes and her father's hair. She would have Emma's spunk and passion and Killian' s perseverance and sarcasm. He though of a young boy with dirty blonde curls and a devilish smile. He would be stubborn like his mother and loyal like his father and brave like both of his parents

These thoughts, these hopes of a life with Emma, kept him sane. He wished for a life with her more than anything else.

 _Why does it have to go from good to gone?_

 _Before the lights turn on,yeah, and you're left all alone_

 _All alone, but here comes goodbye_

Just as fast as Killian had gained the world he had lost it. One moment he is holding Emma in his arms as they joke around with her parents at Grannies, and the next thing he knows, she is gone. Gone.

Their relationship had been slow, but their losing each other was quick. Every time he lost her it happened in the blink of an eye, but the pain lingered for what seemed like centuries.

However, every time he found her proved to be a new adventure waiting to journeyed upon. Nothing with this woman was very easy, but he wouldn't change the hardness and the pains for anything. It madethem who they were. Every time he found her the joy inside of his heart grew larger and the darkness dissapeared. Now he vowed he would find her yet again, this time shrinking her hearts darkness and resorting it to the light be had fallen in love with.


End file.
